“In Between”

Life is short and fleeting.  I have spent way too much of my time being the person that makes no waves and is perfectly content on being the compliment in someone else’s life; never say or do too much in order to keep them close because I was afraid of losing them.  Without hesitation I was the friend that always came through and in return was let down consistently.  Being accepted came with a hefty price.  When that no longer mattered to me, I became the “bitter one” or the “selfish one” and somewhere in between, was the real me.

Maturity is a crazy thing.  Once you surpass everything that is superficial and become a realist, you start to see people for who they are.  Once you’ve reached a level in your life that make you not give a single care about acceptance or how you are perceived, the connections with most people begin to fade and emotional freedom begins.  People talk about being real but when real slaps them in the face they can’t accept you for who you are.  They’d rather chase a dream, compare their life to what could’ve been and when someone real that has their best interest at heart is in front of their face, they push them away.  In a society filled with an abundance of fakeness they would rather live a lie than work hard at truth.  Being yourself is a challenge that takes courage, especially when you are not what people expect.  You lose some friends along the way but if I have to lose myself to gain acceptance then they were never meant to stay. Girl BYE AND BYE NOW! (Insert eye roll here) 

You probably are wondering where I am going with all of this.  Well, here it is: we all – at some point – wear masks to hide our insecurities and fears.  I learned that those who travel with you in the same walk of life may not be interested in your courage to accept your flaws.  They would rather embrace your mask because they are not interested in the real you, only their perception of you.  Truth be told, when you give yourself freely with no hidden agendas or inconsistencies, people walk away from you because you are too good to be true; they are too busy concentrating on your flaws than the realness that makes you raw.

The moment I began to live my life like an open book, I was judged and made to feel I had something to prove because people like me are almost nonexistent. When you’re a “what you see is what you get” type of person, people will always try to find something more to your story when there isn’t anything more to uncover.  Their own insecurities wont allow them to see that. How incredibly sad it is to reject who’s for you because all you know is what is against you! They are too busy counteracting the upper hand they think you are trying to have over them when all you want to do is be hand-in-hand WITH them.  People are so afraid of what’s real and will not commit or be open to taking chances.  They talk a good game, but the reality is they are always looking for the greener grass on the other side instead of maintaining the one they already have.  When you encounter anyone that is giving you 100% of whom they are and shows genuine interest in the real you, that person is a permanent root in your life and not the leaf that blows in the wind as you depict them to be .  Recognize real for what it is.

I no longer live my life in between.  What you see is what you get.  I will not jeopardize my happiness in order to make someone else content by consistently having to prove who I am.  The dynamic of a relationship takes sacrifice and a rare characteristic called “honesty”.  There is no in-between! Life is precious and can’t be wasted waiting for someone to come along when sometimes all you have todo is look up and see what is in front of your face or within you.  Keep your past in your past and don’t allow aspirations of what could have been detour you from where you are supposed to be.  Most importantly, when people show you who they are, believe them!

 

2 thoughts on ““In Between”

  1. Kathy says:

    Nothing better that living life the way you see fit and not what others see fit for you! 👏👏

  2. Kat says:

    👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s